i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
