It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
