2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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