the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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