Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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