Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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