FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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