He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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