I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
