I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
