The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I wear drunk well.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
