My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
