I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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