Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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