You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
