I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
