Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
