sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
