I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwadâ€
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