Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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