Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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