she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
