Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
