I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
