Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
