Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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