The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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