That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
