before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there was a trapeze. enough said
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
