You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
