I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
