Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
