You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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