what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
