her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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