oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize