Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
