I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
