so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
