put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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