doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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