She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
