I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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