I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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