i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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