yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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