but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize