It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
