When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
