This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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