Barsexuality is the new black.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
