I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
