We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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