3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
