Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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