Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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