you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Drunk is not a location!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
