You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just google imaged poop.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
