Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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