That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i think i just lost a toe
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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