You smell like a Billy Joel song
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he was CRYING into my vagina
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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