Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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