Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
