we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
