We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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