i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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