I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
