I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
