Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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