So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
