I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
