If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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